Living in Community

I recently joined facebook. I'd heard about this social networking phenomenon from friends, but never really thought much about it. The night I joined, I was warned by people accepting my "friend requests" I should watch out, facebook can be addictive. I didn't pay much attention to those warnings, I've been online in one form or another since 1995 (yes, I was an early Internet adopter ... even learning HTML in 1994), so another forum wouldn't change my life that much. Would it?

What I didn't realize, what I couldn't realize until I joined facebook was how starved people are for community. I have "friends" on facebook who post their status almost hourly. It appears they can't survive the day without letting everyone know what they are doing.

I have other friends that I don't believe have posted a status change since I joined nearly six weeks ago.

The interesting thing to me, is how much people share. This is a relative safe place, if you've set your account up properly, only your friends can see what you write. Yet there are options where friends of friends can also see. So, assuming social networking theory is correct (only six steps are required to move from any person in the world to any other person in the world), there are a lot of people who could read about your life.

I have friends who post about illnesses, both personal and family. I have friends who post travel schedules. I have friends who post their thoughts. One friend recently became engaged, another recently left a relationship.

The most interesting posts (one I also have been known to do) is the dinner post. I often see people going for sushi, baking bread, cooking some great meal. There are friends who then post recipes when requested and those that simply post them, regardless of having been asked. I often have friends comment about what I've shared we are eating, sometimes having them boldly ask when they can come over to share the meal with us.

Beyond status updates, people share pictures, and some post strings like: "25 Random Things," or "The Bucket List," the "BBC Book List," or "I've Seen ... of 239 Films," and even "Senior Year of High School."

Some people are creative, some are funny, some are simply lonely and looking for community. It truly has been eye opening. In this modern world, where we are only six degrees of separation from anyone, we have to go online to find community.

I guess that is why the new Dentyne chewing gum "Make Face Time" advertisement is so appealing to me (the Youtube video of this commercial is linked to the title of this post). If you want community, true community, you have to make time. Sitting alone on your couch, in your office, or in the airport keying your status into your laptop, blackberry, or cell phone is a cheap substitute for true face time.

Get off the couch and go outside. Spring is teasing, so it should be easier. Find the time (I know, who has time) and make some friends; flesh and blood, right there with you friends. It may get hard, relationships come with all kinds of issues, but you will ultimately be grateful to have people with whom you are sharing your life.

I know I have some new friends, my small group that started in October, and we are grateful three other couples have joined the friendship journey with us. Where will your next "friend request accepted" be found? I hope not inside a computer.