A Still, Small Voice

Last night as I was praying while preparing to go to sleep, I was deeply troubled. The same old things were on my mind: no job, no income, past due bills; so I took them to God. In my usual manner, I told God of the issue of concern and then prayed scripture appropriate to the request. "My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19-NIV). I also prayed Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, tells those listening they are more important than the birds and flowers so don't worry about food or clothing.

I poured out my soul last night, telling God it had become cumbersome praying the same prayer each day, living each day with the weight of my financial burdens. And during that agonizing time, I heard a "still, small voice" whisper, "You've already given these concerns to me, why do you continue to hold on to them so tightly? Leave your burdens at the throne and I will then be able to answer."

In an amazing scene, something similar to Christian in Pilgrim's Progress losing the heavy pack from his back, I felt a weight fall off me last night. I realized I had continued to hold on to my requests each day by carrying around the weight of the problem despite having offered it to God in prayer. Each night I had prayed for relief, and then each morning I grabbed right back on to the problem, trying to solve it in my own power.

Last night I realized, though unfortunately not for the first time in my spiritual journey, that simply praying does not provide God with what He needs to be able to answer our prayers. In addition to offering the prayer, we have to also leave the burden at the throne. It is only when we truly surrender our daily problems to God that He will be able to provide answers.

I wish I could say that when I woke up this morning I had several emails from people wanting to provide me with job opportunities. Unfortunately, that is not how God chose to work this time. I can say, that in addition to hearing the voice tell me to leave the burden at the throne, I also clearly heard that the answer will come in His time. What is His time? I'm not sure.

I have learned one thing, however in the past five years of being self-employed. While God is rarely early (with answers to prayers), He has never been late. Sure, He operates outside of my personal comfort zone, but in five years, we have always had the money in the bank account on the day it was needed. Would I have liked for it to have been there sooner? Certainly! Have I had to negotiate with companies due to late payments? Yes. Yet each time "our backs seemed against the wall," the funds we had earned would arrive or a job would be offered, providing just enough to cover our immediate need.

You would think that having lived this way for five years I could simply wake each morning with the understanding that God is in control. Unfortunately I do not. There are far too many days, like last night, where I'm holding on to the burden and keeping God from working another miracle in my life. Last night was a great reminder that God cares for us, He has our best intentions in mind, and He will provide; as long as we stop trying to do it on our own and place ourselves in a position to respond to His prompting, in His time.

What are you holding on to today that you thought you had already released to God? Open up to Him completely and let God work His miracle in your life, in His time.