Heaven or Hell

Kelly has developed an addiction to Grey's Anatomy. This is surprising because Kelly really doesn't like TV. For years she has attempted to get me to limit my TV viewing. Finally, a few years ago I was able to give her a small gift, one night a week without TV.

But I've recently noticed this addiction to Grey's Anatomy. It became apparent when I was traveling frequently last quarter. Kelly would rush home from her Thursday night meeting to turn on Grey's Anatomy. Fortunately for me, work hours were such that her calling me after 10 pm (once the show was off) wasn't too dificult. Most nights we had just finished for the day so her timing was perfect.

It was the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy, "Stairway to Heaven," (original air date January 22, 2009) that got me thinking. In this episode, Izzie is continuing to have conversations with her dead fiancee, Denny. During the episode, Denny asks Izzie if one person's heaven could be another person's hell.

I possed that question to Kelly this morning over pancakes and she said no. Kelly didn't believe the person "in heaven" would be so oblivious as to not recognize they were causing a "hell" for their partner.

I disagree with my lovely wife. In part, the episode also explored this option. Denny actually asked if his continued presence with Izzie were causing her hell. It certainly appeared to be so. Yet he continued to hang around, talk to her, and make her life difficult. His desire to remain with her (he died the night he proposed, so they never really did have a chance to develop a relationship outside of the hospital), to experience what he imagined to be heaven, was causing extreme pain for Izzie as she attempted to finally move her life beyond Denny.

Yet even had Grey's Anatomy not gone there with the script, I believe there are daily instances where someone is "in heaven" (no, not the literal heaven) and the one they love is in hell. Take for instance every man at the mall with his wife and teenage daughter. Those men are certainly not in heaven.

Or what about the woman who sits at home alone while her husband is "out with the guys?" Maybe they are both in heaven, but in many cases, the women I've encountered are in a hell of their own. "What is he doing tonight? Who is he with? Why do I have to sit here with the screaming baby while he gets to go out?"

I believe that until the world learns the love of God, until we live daily into His edict "love your neighbor as yourself," each of us will find moments when we are in heaven and those around us are in hell.

I hope each day brings me closer to causing fewer of those moments for the ones I love.