Where Was the Church?

From the top of this post, you need to know my source of information is Facebook, and we all know how accurate that information can be, but even if this latest information isn't true, it does not change the substance of my blog post, so please indulge me as I muse for a few moments here about "Where Was the Church?"

The world was stunned just over a week ago when a gunman walked into an elementary school in Connecticut and started shooting. Well, most of the world, that is. The congregants of Westboro Baptist Church however, felt the funerals needed their brand of protesting, insisting the shooting was potentially linked to the recent decision of Connecticut voters to legalize gay marriage.

As most of humanity asks how could a loving God allow such atrocities, this "church group" shouts it was God's hand that brought this judgement to the community of Newtown.

Let me be clear, Westboro is WRONG! God is not a vindictive God. He is a fair judge, He is just and holy, and He is LOVE. There are many stories in the Bible which we consider horrific, how could God command the new nation of Israel to completely destroy the Amalekites? What kind of loving God slays a man and his wife (Ananias and Sapphira in the book of Acts) simply because they told a lie? What kind of loving God would allow the baby of King David, a man after God's own heart according to Acts 13:22, to die despite the fervent prayers and fasting of David and his household?

Each of these questions is an entire book in itself, and I'll pass on answering them for now to continue with my primary goal of this post. However, I believe God is LOVE and Westboro is WRONG.

So why did my Facebook friends post a picture showing Hells Angels motorcyclists standing between the Newtown residents and their antagonists? Where was the church? I applaud the Hells Angels for standing in the gap. However my heart hurts that churches were not leading this charge against hate.

It is a difficult place to be, asking churches to stand against other "churches" ... but when it comes to showing love to a hurting world, when it comes down to "protecting" the innocent from blatant hate-mongers, when doing the right thing is clearly evident; the church needs to take the lead.

Only then, only when the church finally stands up for the lost and hurting in our midst, will there be "peace on Earth and good will towards men."

Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

How many times have you sat in a church service, listened to Christian radio, heard a sermon online, or any other form of Christian dialogue where the phrase, "break my heart for what breaks Your's" was uttered.

That phrase seems to really be taking Christendom by storm in the past several years. People are once again longing to serve, to demonstrate they are the "hands and feet" of Jesus. And it sounds like a great way to live into that desire.

Fortunately, when the good people of Hillsong took this line and put it into a song, they understood that "break my heart for what breaks Your's" isn't simply something we fall into. It is a destination that takes hard work and lots of effort on our part to realize.

Look at the progression outlined in "Hosanna" by Hillsong:

Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.
Break my heart for what is Your's.
Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause.
As I walk from Earth into eternity.

Can you see the progression? It is as simple as taking those first four lines of the bridge and assigning numbers to them; steps to achieving the "heart of God" if you will.

First, you have to allow God to heal your heart; make it clean. If you continue to harbor all of the treasures of the world, all of the trappings of this kingdom in your heart, there is no way you will ever truly have a broken heart for the things of God. Jesus said it best: 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21-NIV)

When we guard our heart, seeking the things of God, He is able to heal us. That is the first step in getting us to a place where our heart breaks for the things of God.

Next, we must allow God to open our eyes to the things unseen. Again, God shows us:

“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (I Samuel 16:17-NIV)

God sees the world much differently than we do. Only when our hearts are filled with His desires can we begin to see things more in line with his economy.

Our third step is for God to "show me how to love like you have loved me". I'll be honest, this is probably the hardest step in the transition. Love isn't easy. Just look at the divorce rate, look at how many children are abandoned by their fathers and sometimes mothers, look at how many people die alone. Love is messy!

And until we are willing to get just as messy, to open our own hearts to all kinds of potential for pain, sorrow, and ugliness; we won't be able to love like Jesus. He loved us so much, he suffered and died for our sins, despite the fact that we had already rejected him! He loved us so much, he allowed his own father to turn his back on him for a time so he could pay our price.

Are you willing to that? Could you do that? I couldn't.

So after we've allowed God to clean our hearts, after we've begun to see things through a new perspective, a holy perspective, after we've learned to love like Jesus, only then can  we truly allow our hearts to break for the things that break God's.

It is a journey, one many of us will pursue, but very few reach this side of eternity. I simply hope that each day I am drawing closer, as opposed to moving farther away.

New Blog

Blogging etiquette dictates you don't mix blog topics. If you have a blog about religion and or living a religious life (the 10:10 muse) you don't randomly begin to post political musings on that blog.

So today I launched Far Out Side, a new blog where I will explore my political voice, similar to how I've attempted to explore my spirituality here at the 10:10 muse.

So today I've doubled my voice, but hopefully that doesn't mean I've cut my posts by half, because quite honestly, I have not done a good job of posting here in the past year and a half, so cutting my number of posts would basically mean this blog is finished.

I still have much to say about living a Jesus styled life in today's world, so continue to check back here to see where life's adventures take me.

But if you're also interested in some political ramblings from my perspective, feel free to jump over to http://faroutside.blogspot.com/ ...

God is My Rock

I read somewhere this week that God lets us hit rock bottom so we can learn He is the Rock.

I'm not really into pithy sayings, but this week is certainly testing that adage.

Once again we are faced with car troubles, the Explorer that we spent $500 on during vacation for a battery, alternator, towing, and tension pulley was just diagnosed with a bad transmission. I'm not sure how many miles are left on the transmission, but long term, it needs repair.

My wife and I feel the cost of the repair, combined with what we've already spent on the vehicle over the 16 or so months we've owned it; is not prudent. So the car searching begins.

However, we are also facing a rather large tax bill in the next several weeks as well. So we find ourselves in a difficult financial position.

I know, first world problems!

But they are my problems ...

You see, my wife and I had just chosen to increase our charitable giving. God has been blessing so why not pass those blessings along to those in need. We contacted a missionary friend and doubled our monthly pledge to he and his family. We began a conversation with another missionary to the Philippines to see if their mission is a match to our giving goals.

And we learned the transmission needs to be repaired. Our delayed tax bill is quickly coming due. And there isn't enough money in the bank to cover it all.

So here I sit, in my living room, listening to an online concert of Hillsong UNITED, trying to stay faithful. God is my rock. In Him I trust. I know He will provide; He hasn't failed me yet. But in the midst of it all, trust is hard to find.

So yes, maybe we do have to hit rock bottom to truly understand God is our Rock. I just wish it wasn't necessary.

Honest, Open Feelings

Today is the family reunion. It's an annual event that my family manages to make every other year.

Let me set this up for you. We usually converge on Traverse City, MI on a Friday, set up trailers, RVs, and tents at my wife's uncle's house; and hang out until Sunday.

My brother-in-law has a nice camp trailer we've slept in a few times, but not the vehicle required to tow it. Two years ago, I pulled it up here from Hastings, MI, but the cash Explorer we bought last May does not have a hitch.

Enter my emotional roller coaster. I dislike camping in a tent. Sleeping in a queen-sized camper bed is rough enough. My preference is a hotel, with in-room jacuzzi.

So I'd begun to prepare myself for sleeping in a tent. But secretly, I was also looking online for SUVs I could purchase if a paycheck I'd been expecting came through.

Finally, however, I told God He was in control, and I'd stop looking at a replacement vehicle. The next day, my check was deposited.

Two business days later, I unexpectedly received another check. Now flush with cash, I still honored my vow and didn't even scan Internet ads.

We left Lexington Wednesday, spent Thursday on Hastings, MI, and started north to Traverse City on Friday. About half an hour into the three-hour drive, I noticed my battery charge indicator was running on the low side. A little later, I shut off the truck, and it wouldn't start again.

Really ?!?

So I got a jump-start from my brother-in-law (who had borrowed a truck and was pulling his trailer for us to sleep in), pulled into an auto parts store and had them test the battery and alternator.

This local store in Western Michigan off the 131 said the alternator was charging but the battery was dead. I bought a battery from him.

The indicator still remained low as we continued to drive north, so I found an Auto Zone (thank you iPhone!) in an upcoming town and pulled in. This test showed the battery was good (good news since it was brand new), but the alternator failed their test.

So I bought a new alternator from them.

Friday night, in the rain, I attempted to change the alternator myself. I pulled the old one, put the new one on, but couldn't get the belt back on.

So this morning (Saturday) I found a shop in Traverse City that is open Saturdays, arranged to have the Explorer towed here, and they are putting my truck back together ... Oh, but I also need a new belt tensioner because the belt is squeeling pretty loudly according to the shop.

So I wanted a newer vehicle, but I acquiesced to God that I would stick with my old one, even if I had to sleep in a tent (I didn't, yea God!). But now I'm out $100 for a battery, $200 for an alternator, and who knows how much for the tow, labor and replacement parts at the mechanic ...

So yeah, I'm not really feeling good about my car, or my decision to not go car shopping when I had money ...

But despite my frustration, I acknowledge God is God and I am not ...

And that is my honest, open feelings for today ...

Making the Mature Decision Often Sucks!

I'm just going to say it ... sometimes making the mature decision sucks !! Don't we all want to be mature? Well, most of us do, I imagine. We want the freedom that comes with being responsible. We want to be able to guide our own decisions. However, sometimes doing the "right thing" isn't very fun.

About 7 months ago now I read a blog post by Donald Miller stating that his dream project, the Blue Like Jazz movie was not going to happen. He had joined forces with Steve Taylor to write a screen play based on his best selling book, Blue Like Jazz. The process of writing this screen play became another book by Don Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

I've had the privilege of reading both books. I own both books. So reading the blog post stating the movie was not going to happen because they couldn't raise the necessary funding was depressing. And I'm just an outsider.

Enter two guys from Nashville who had an idea. They would use source funding through a site called KickStarter to help Don and Steve raise the balance of the funds to bring Blue Like Jazz to the silver screen. How much was needed and what things could Don and Steve offer as "incentives" to those who jumped into funding the movie?

I was only too happy to help. However, because 2011 was a good year financially, but not a banner year, I could only give a little to a project for which I wanted to give a lot!

Now, the movie has been shot, edited, and test screened around the country. I've followed the updates, as a supporter of the project I'm on the email distribution list. And finally, the day it will officially open is theaters is upon us. This Friday, April 13, 2012, Blue Like Jazz will be open to the public.

The problem, it is a limited release for opening weekend. The distribution company has little faith in the success of the movie (read the comments in the various blogs, etc. by both Donald and Steve), so the movie is being released in only a few markets. Additional markets will be added the following week, but in neither instance is Lexington on the list.

The closest theater for opening weekend is Nashville, TN, some 220 miles away.

Enter my current discouragement; I don't have the funds to make the trip. My job demands I travel frequently, and I've built up enough points a a hotel chain to have a free room in Nashville; score! However, I don't have the money for gas for the round trip.

April is an expensive month in my home. We have two sons with April birthdays, my wife loves to spend money so the Easter Bunny can come, and of course Uncle Sam, the Commonwealth of Kentucky, and our local municipality and school districts all have their hands out wanting a substantial "donation" for the pleasure of living inside their jurisdictions (the tax man cometh!).

Add all this together, and despite having a free room, my wife having the ability to take the time off work (with pay, for the first time since joining her firm in March 2008), and our youngest saying he'd be willing to stay home and watch the dog; I can't go.

As I said, making the mature decision often sucks!

I wish I could say I came to this decision easily. However, if you follow this blog, you'll know I rarely come by things easily. Last night (Monday, April 9, 2012) was a restless night for me as I tossed and turned, wrestling with God about this decision. Today I woke up, discouraged, but hoping that somehow choosing to do the right thing will be sufficient to cheer me up.

It hasn't, yet.

And while I'd love to be in the audience on opening night, I won't. God has a plan for Blue Like Jazz; they've already done the impossible--made the movie. And while many in Hollywood are watching to see if a faith-based film made by mainstream people can be successful, while the team associated with Blue Like Jazz is calling on everyone they know to ensure a successful launch; God has a plan. Even without me in attendance, this movie will be a blessing to so many.

I just wish I could be there to celebrate that moment.

Alas, I will wait for another weekend to see Blue Like Jazz; one where the release is closer to my home. Come on Lexington theaters, pick up this movie !!

For more information about this movie, visit www.bluelikejassthemovie.com.

The Slippery Slope

I've been counting calories since January 6, 2012 ... However, I haven't really changed in my lifestyle. I am using www.myfitnesspal.com to help me track my daily caloric intake, but I don't exercise more (or less) than I used to. I do eat less, because I'm conscious of what the calorie count is for each item. I do make choices about what to eat, and when to eat it; but that is the only change I've made.

The result is the good news: in the past 2-1/2 months I've managed to lose 31 pounds!

But I've also noticed something, the reason for this post. I've noticed that on the days (or sometimes weeks) that I "mess up" ... for instance I was in Rochester, NY a couple of weeks ago and they wanted me to experience a local favorite; the Garbage Plate, 1650+ calories of meat, gravy, macaroni salad, and fries PLUS a drink ... it becomes easier for me to just throw out all the hard work up to that point and choose to eat whatever that day (or week).

I noticed the same is true in my spiritual life. It seems the days I'm really focused on God, the days I start with time in His word and time in His throne room (prayer), I'm less distracted by the "trappings" of this world.

However, if I stumble, if I choose to take my focus off God and try something I know is sin; it becomes so much easier to remain in a destructive pattern throughout that day (or week, month, or even year).

Why is it that when we stumble we are so hard on ourselves and allow ourselves to remain in a downward spiral? Why do we refuse to accept God's grace and forgiveness? Why do we refuse to accept grace and forgiveness from those around us too?

I'm not one to put too much power in the hands of our enemy, however, the Bible is clear that Satan is the great deceiver. Fortunately, it is also very clear he has been defeated!

Each day I need to track my calories if I'm going to hit my goal weight. Similarly, each day I need to commit that just because I experienced a local favorite that impacted my calorie count, I will recognize that one meal isn't justification for taking a hiatus from my plan and choose to remain committed to my goals.

And, each day I must also start with my focus on God; read His word, spend time in His presence, find a quiet place and dwell in His grace. And on those far too many occasions when I sin, I need to immediately ask God's forgiveness (and that of anyone I've harmed) and find solace in His grace and mercy.

Then, and only then, will I have left the slippery slope and found rest in the arms of my loving Father!

Trade Off

If you read my post from January 31, 2012, you know I'm currently tracking calories on an iPhone app called MyFitnessPal (www.myfitnesspal.com). Each day I log the calories I've taken in, list any exercise (which has been minimal, I'll admit), and see the results. I'm on a 2050 calorie per day plan so I can lose the excess weight I've gained in the last few years. My goal is to drop below that magic number I swore I'd never cross ... and then to hopefully maintain that new weight through the new eating habits I've learned in the process.

Yesterday as I was logging my dinner (spaghetti with meat, bread with butter, orange juice, and water), I noticed something interesting. Spaghetti in our house is loaded with calories.

We usually take some noodles from a box, boil them in water, add sauce from a jar, and some meat. As I input the ingredients into my iPhone app, they really started to add up. The total noodle calorie count was 1,200. The sauce added another 600 calories. The pound of hamburger was an additional 1,209 calories.

Divide the total calories by the number 6 (the total number of servings this meal made), and you eat 502 calories per serving ...

Now let's get to the trade off part ...

I'm not sure your thoughts on this, but 502 calories for a single serving of spaghetti seems like a lot to me. This really hit home when I started to compare it to some of the other goodness I've tracked during my nearly four weeks on this program.

For the same amount of calories in one serving of spaghetti, you could eat:

5/8 of a pound of BBQ beef
3 Hot, fresh out of the oven, homemade biscuits with peanut butter and jelly
10-1/2 ounces of Orange Leaf Cheesecake flavored frozen yogurt
2-1/4 cups of homemade banana pudding
2 full Twix candy bars (that's four individual Twix bars)
1-1/2 cups of Kroger Fun Munch Cookies-n-Cream ice cream
2-3/4 slices of Chocolate Bread
4 trail mix granola bars
8 donut holes
125 grapes

Now I don't know about you, but the options I just listed all sound much more enjoyable, and potentially more filling, than the single serving of spaghetti.

But alas, we all know you can't simply survive on junk food alone. You have to have balance in your diet, you need protein, carbs, natural sugars, and even a touch of salt. All of this can be found in the spaghetti. Not all of it can be found in the optional list I provided.

In the end, I obviously ate the spaghetti. I even had a double portion; which then shot me way over my daily allowable calorie limit. But I ate the spaghetti, the slice of bread, and drank my water and juice.

Today, however, I wondered exactly what options I could have traded; and made the list. Sometimes we do have to stop and take a look at what we could have had, what we could have done, where we could have ended up. Even if that looking is showing us some place we didn't want to be, someplace we would not be enjoying, someplace we are better off having avoided.

It is through retrospect, through taking a short timeout, that we truly understand how far we've come, how much we've achieved, how good our life truly has become. And if, in taking that moment, we realize we chose poorly, we took the wrong road, we ended up where we should never have come; we can adjust our trajectory and return to the proper path.

Each day we face a trade off. Each day decisions result in moving one direction or another. If you never stop to evaluate, how will you ever know if you made the right decision?

I'm Starving

We've developed a new term around our house; "American starving" ... when I say we, I mean our 15-year old was the first to use the term. One afternoon he told his mom, "I'm starving. Well, not actually starving, but American starving."

You see, in America we have it so well, it would be virtually impossible for the child of a middle class family to starve to death. To punctuate this point, look around you; go ahead, look.

How many of the people near you look like they've never missed a meal? How many look like they would benefit from fewer calories each day?

I weighed myself just after 2012 started and I had crossed a line I swore I'd never pass. It was the second line I'd created for myself, having passed the first line some 12 years prior; but this line was too far. Something had to change.

Being a new iPhone user (Sprint finally got the iPhone in November 2011), I found an app that would help me track my daily calorie intake and exercise. Not that I really intended to exercise much, but I could track intake easily, so I downloaded the app.

Three plus weeks into the process, including one two-week road trip for work, I've lost 17 pounds from my starting point, and I'm sitting at the milestone weight I swore I'd never cross, the weight that pushed me to start something in the first place.

However, it hasn't been fun. I've spent most of the past several weeks "American starving."

I had to complete a profile when I started, current weight, goal weight, how much I intended to exercise, what type of job I had (sedentary, somewhat active, really active), and how much weight I planned to lose each week. The app then created a daily calorie goal; mine is 2050 calories each day.

Now, when you consider an order of chicken tenders at any bar and grill (Chili's, O'Charley's, Applebee's, etc.) is 900 - 1,100 calories; you can see how hard keeping your intake below 2050 a day, especially when traveling and eating at those types of places because they are the only place open at 11 pm when you finally get off work, can be.

Even house salads, when you add the honey mustard dressing, can run 350 - 500 calories according to my app. Eatting "healthy," it turns out, isn't as healthy as we thought.

So, I spend many days being "American starving." It could be worse, I could actually be starving.

Tonight as you go to bed, make your gratitude list. And when you do, remember to be thankful you have only ever experienced "American starving."