Feel Close to God?

I've been wondering something lately, how do I continue to move closer to God. Kelly and I have been in a conversation with someone in our life who has moved away from God during the years we've known this person, so much so they are now a self-proclaimed atheist. In a recent email exchange, Kelly mentioned that while this person has moved away from God, she has been drawing closer to God. It got me thinking, what does moving closer to God look like?

It wasn't until I spent some time on YouTube this morning (imagine that, finding God on YouTube), that I found an answer.

"When I read the lives of the great saints, they didn't necessarily feel close to God. When I read the Psalms, I get the feeling that David and the other Psalmists felt quite far away from God for most of the time. Closeness to God is not about feelings. Closeness to God is about obedience. ... I don't know how you feel close to God. And no one I know that seems to be close to God knows anything about those feelings either. I know if we obey, occasionally the feeling follows. Not always, but occasionally. I know if we disobey, we don't have a shot at it. Jesus said, 'Whatever you do to the least of these, my brothers, you've done it to me.' and this is what I've come to think; that if I want to identify fully with Jesus Christ, who I claim to be my Savior and Lord, the best way that I can do that is to identify with the poor. ... Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in a beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved, and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken."

(Rich Mullins live in concert in Lufkin, Texas)

Are you struggling with the same question? Do you desire to be closer to God in your life? Then take a look around you. Are you living like Jesus did? Are you surrounded by the poor, hurting, broken-hearted misfits of this world?

I am currently working with a church here in Lexington that finds itself in the midst of the crowd I imagine Jesus would attract were he to walk the earth in the 21st century. This church is based on recovery programs, attracting recovering alcoholics and drug addicts, ex-convicts, gang members, homeless people, and everyone else the modern church has neglected. In a recent project meeting, the pastor actually said, in his opening prayer, "Lord send us the people the other churches don't want."

Do you want to find closeness to God? It will cost you everything you have: family, friends, home, and savings (Matthew 10:37-39, Mark 10:29, Luke 9:58); so be sure you truly want to draw closer to God before you take the first step. But if you do, God will meet you there.

Have I drawn closer to God in recent years? Only enough to know that taking any additional steps will cost me everything, and I simply don't have enough faith to continue. Maybe God will show me where that faith comes from in the next chapter of my life. Right now, I more resonate with another bit of wisdom from Rich Mullins; here are the words from his song "Hard to Get:"

"You who live in heaven, hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth. Who are afraid of being left by those we love, and who get hardened by the hurt.

Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape to find the faith to ask for daily bread? Did You forget about us after You had flown away? Well I memorized every word You said still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath while You're up there just playing hard to get.

You who live in radiance, hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin. We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was still we do love now and then.

Did You ever know loneliness? Did You ever know need?Do You remember just how long a night can get?

When You were barely holding on and Your friends fall asleep and don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat.

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted while You're up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows, and I know you feel our pain, and I know it would not hurt any less even if it could be explained.

And I know that I am only lashing out at the One who loves me most, and after I figured this, somehow all I really need to know

Is if You who live in eternity hear the prayers of those of us who live in time? We can't see what's ahead and we can not get free of what we've left behind. I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears all the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret.

I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here where I'm lost enough to let myself be led. And so You've been here all along I guess, it's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get."